RULES FOR WOMEN  TO FOLLOW

For purpose they are not numbered but please take all as “1” .
  
Breasts are for looking at and that’s what we do .Dont try to change that .

Learn to work the toilet seat . You are a big girl .if its up , put it  down . we need it up , you need it down .you don’t hear us  complaining about you keeping it down .

YES  and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost all  questions .

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem  .  Go see a doctor .

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument .In fact , all comments become null and void after 7 days .
  
If you think you are fat , you probably are . Don’t ask us .

If something we said can be interpreted in two ways,and one of the ways makes you sad  and angry , we meant the other one .
    
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done  .    not both  , if you already know the best way to do it and do it , don’t ask us .just do it yourself  .
    
Whenever possible , please say whatever you have to say during the commercials only .
    
We do not need direction from you  , Christopher Columbus did not need it .

      
All men see in only 16 colors like the WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS . Peach for example is a fruit not a color , pumpkin is a fruit not a color . we have no idea what mauve is . 

If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing , we will take it as nothing’s wrong .we know you are lying but its just not worth the hassle .
  
If you ask a question you don’t want answer to , expect an answer you did not expect .
    
When we have to go somewhere , absolutely anything you wear is fine  , Really .
     
Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are  prepared to discuss such topics as  SEX , SPORTS  & CARS .