What drove the people way back in early twentieth century ? what drives us today ? not a very interesting topic but worth a dekko . The other day I was reading about the exploits of Shaheed Bhagat Singh , Chandrashekhar Azad , Bismil and I could feel the goose bumps !!!! These blokes were in their twenties and they talked about freedom , civil rights etc etc ... I also had a chance to read the article by Bhagat Singh titled WHY I AM AN ATHEIST ... . amazing stuff .article worth a lecture but has anyone heard about it ? I definitely did not until I went thru some magazines .

Sarfaroshi ki tammanna ab hamare dil me hain dekhna hai zor kitna bazooee katil me hain..
Brilliant words by Pandit Ramprasad Bismil ( died aged 27)

Instead what some of us do is live in a virtual fort within which we play our own sleazy romantic games or escapades which we never get to do in real life or maybe don't have the balls to do (galls for fair sex). Is that all we are worth or is it a façade for frustrated souls ?

Is our generation so immersed in themselves and their careers that they don't see anything else ? what would have happened if Subhash Bose who had passed civil services just went for a cushioned job and not do what he did ? How about bhagat singh , rajguru doing the same ? They might have lived longer but what about the country ?

MAYBE I WAS JUST THE BRIDGE BETWEEN ONE GENERATION WHICH WAS AND ONE GENERATION WHICH WILL BE !!!!!! I am sure we will have more people who will make us talk about them like we do about the freedom fighters and will not forget them . The Assuring look in my father's eyes tell me all is ok and I watch himslowly vanish into the clouds . Someday the upcoming generation will talk about us and them again .(only time can tell). till then ......

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don"t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven"t had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I"m not going to give you the money. Instead, I"m going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won"t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I"m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That"s okay.. It"s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

What is the real meaning of right ? Who decides or how it is decided what is right and what is wrong ?
Today we know thru our history books that the ALLIED powers were the right ones and the wrongful and sinners were the AXIS powers in world war 2 .
What would happen if it was the other way around . Who would have been right then . Then Hitler would have been one of most tactical commanders of the war .
He would have been the Great Statesman and Fuehrer....
Was Gandhi the right man who agreed on partition and Jinnah the wrong man who asked for partition ...what if Jinnah hadn't asked for Pakistan ? He would have been a great politician for a greater Country .
So in effect he would not been wrong . History would have given him a greater space which he deserved . In Pakistan he is not wrong but Gandhi who is wrong

Who writes the history ..the victors off course ...so the perception of what is right depends upon which side it is on ? So the bombing of Dresden for 3 days sanctioned by Winston Churchill and which took the lives of 250,000 civilians was right because he was on the winning side and so not many people know of
this catastrophic event .

Western society claim, that what is right for one person is necessarily right for another . Because of dilemma like this one we have major disagreements over abortion , pre marital sex ,capital punishment etc etc . so in effect it might be related to individuals , culture and time ? So the way we live , our behaviour and the the way we respond when people treat us , the judgements we make when people are mistreated reveal what we think about right or wrong .

What is the meaning of the word right ?

One is the sense of direction ....right or left ..One is the right of the people ,
animals , civil right , gay rights etc etc .The third is the one I am talking about . I am really confused ...how does one determine what is right and may be who decides that . Does majority define this word or the powerful and rich define this word according to their convenience . There are times when u do a thing which u feel right about but later on u come to regret it !!!! So the meaning of right changes with time also , what may be right today may not be tomorrow ? That is pretty depressing . so how do u decide what is right today .?We think of wrong in three ways ... departure from truth , violation of any law and deviation from morally acceptable standards . Stealing , theft , murder etc are all wrong ..we accept that but what about euthanasia , abortion , polygamy etc ? Are they wrong or right . Christians believe that if objective principles of right and wrong exist, there must be a foundation for them. And the foundation that makes the most sense is the character of a perfect and holy God.

So the idea of abortion ,euthanasia , pre marital sex is wrong ? Are they really ?

I am genuinely confused . I will let my son do what he thinks is right when he gets a little older , but till then he would have to come to me for advice and take my word as to what is right and what is wrong .......

The phone rings up with an earth shattering tone . my wife picks up and I hear saying ..oh no !!!!! . Immediately I get up and asked her what happened . Her close friends husband had expired and she was wailing like anything .

Because he was very young (36) , the postmortem had to be done , again the ugly face of DELHI cropped up . There was not a person along with the father . This was my first time to a city mortuary .I did not know what made me go there ..maybe I understood the pain of losing someone all of a sudden . I walked up to him and told him to sit in his car while I would talk to the people there .

Somebody remarked his face was looking black , did he take something ?? Even in the crematorium ...it was like a shot from the movie PAGE 3 . Rich people with their eyes covered with big goggles to hide from the glare stood there . They came as if they were registering their presence !!!!!!!! Here in the crematorium there was this obnoxious show of wealth . how come anybody would be so insensitive to other people's feelings ?

this same feeling came up when I put on the TV and saw most of the channels covering AARUSHI murder case.why people cant just mourn the death of a young child and the loss of the parents !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Every person worth his salt was commenting on the illicit relationship , the parents character etc etc etc .The worse was that even the dead was not spared ? what kind of satisfaction were we deriving out of this ? Even we bloggers did not spare them . every TOM, DICK & HARRY had to analyze . Who are these people who are so insensitive to others people feelings ??????? why couldnt we mourn the fact that a young kid had died a terrible death and that she deserved better !!!!!

The other day one blogger put a quote by the famous actor WOODY ALLEN . Well my immediate reaction was to tell that person that this actor was a lecherous person and that he was incestuous . I did not see the fact that the quote was quite nice and that the person might have been a fan of the actor . My insensitivity got the better of me .why couldn't I just accept the fact that somebody liked some quote from a man who was not exactly DIGNITY PERSONIFIED and that I was supposed to enjoy the quote and not the person (literally speaking ).

I guess we all have to take the blame for the kind of society we have got ourselves into . I definitely am doing my part to be little more sensitive towards fellow humans . I guess we all owe this to the world we live in .

I was sound asleep when I felt a whisper in my ears . Dear wife was upto some tricks !!!!!!!!!! naah , clumsily I opened my eyes to see my 6 yrs old devil standing in front of me and holding on to his family jewels . what happened soikat . bahut zor se lagi hai .. Arre mamma ko jagao cumon . . but he would not listen . so cursing I wake up and take him to the toilet . I look at the watch only to find 0430 am staring at me . That's midnight for me . I again tucked myself into my cosy surroundings and went into my dreams ( sweet ones ) .

The dreams would not come and my sleep was over . Tried hard but but to no avail .I decided to just lay there and look at the state of my home . The rooms looked a little dirty and things were not in order .Maybe she needs some admonishing. My wife wakes up with the alarm and she stays there for some time and then looks at me ( I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep ) affectionately .She gets up clumsily and drags herself towards the washroom .30 minutes later out comes a woman in a hurry . Now she is not moving , she is gliding at fast pace . She wakes Soikat up now and marches towards the washroom and Soikat is clean in a jiffy . she calls me from the kitchen , subbu , bête ka school bag thik kar do , please . Such a silly job !!!! she has to wake me up !!! so grudgingly I move towards the school bag , but wait !!!!! what the hell is that , looks more like a mini library !!! well where to start ? There are books and then there are class work books , home work books , drawing books and the diary . well , don't give me this faltu work to do yaar , I have more serious things to attend to , and I vamoose myself from there . phoey ...

She comes to me and looks straight into my eyes and lovingly asks , which work do u think u can handle , Can u make him study in the evening then ? yeah why naat ( rajni kant style )but provided u put the house in order . Did I see a mischievious smile on her lips ??well in the hindsight I suppose it was a big mistake .

I opened up his hindi book only to find strange letters looking at me ....Was I reading a hindi book or a history lesson because for me hindi was as good as history . chalo maths karte hain ......dad plus kyu karte hain ? more questions ............For good one hour I struggled to make him study and then I finally had it .mummy se baaki pad lena , I am tired ..but humne toh shuru bhi nahi kiya tha ?Dont argue .... whew !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! During the dinner time I asked my wife ,..tutor laye kya ? she scolded me and said ..rahne do .., I will manage . Soikat interjected , Dad chalo lets watch cartoon show ..hmm I could do that .easy .

I am dreaming all the time that I have entered a tunnel , a very long one with no lights . The light gets dimmer and dimmer as I enter into the deepest . suddenly I can see no more and I try to turn around only to find out later that I do not remember which side I entered from . that's when panic
sets in and I shout for help .. woken up from my sleep .that was a dream . I immediately reach
for my phone and try to ring up mother . The phone is switched off and then I realize that she has been gone for more than 15 days now . Now whom do I look up to when I face any problem ? Whom do I ask as to what she had for breakfast , lunch when I was away in another city .She is just not there . Something is missing from my life now , my daily routine has to be brushed up again and
the line deleted which made me call my maa every day when I was out .People are coming to me and calling me to express their grief and like a well tuned tape recorder I go on narrating as to how she went . Time and again I choke up while describing .My cousin brothers who were so loving when everything was there were visitors to our house this time . Came and went like a shatabdi train on schedule . Later they called after 15 days to ask me if all ceremonies went well or not .

I have joined back in my job and every day I come across people expressing their regret and sympathies to me . They tell me time will heal everything and that I have to be strong to go thru this . I know in my heart that they are wishing well for me and that they are genuine in their feelings . But why am I getting irritated by this ? How can I be strong when both my parents are gone. Why are people not prepared at all for death . Maa was also a god fearing person then why wouldn't god do anything for her . I am sure she had so many things to tell me and my brother , so many advices yet when she went it was all very in a silent manner .
How can it be GOD"s wish ?

I still see my mother taking that long breadth before she passed away and that look she gave . I remember consigning her to flames . Within few hours maa was gone , no traces of her remained other than her sarees ,jewelleries and other personal items . The person who was there living and breathing is suddenly gone and the persons near her are left to grope with the sudden absence of her .as I watched her being consigned to flames the DOM philosophically tells me Babu , don't cry , Now she has left this MRITYULOK . She is at peace now . I just look at him and watch him doing his job of burning pyres . This man was so much at peace with himself . I am sitting nearby him and he coolly asks me , chai piyoge ? I nod in refusal ..He tells me everything finishes here , everybody is equal here . Every person has to go thru this no matter how rich or poor he/she is . So this is destiny which was bound to happen no matter what I did . U see beggars and poor people living on for so long with even insufficient money and food but what is keeping them ticking ? Is it their destiny to hang on ...
. Why can't we change destiny ? I just read about a accident where 7 people of one family died .. Why is destiny so cruel to some people ? What is going to be the fate of the child who has survived that accident , what's his fault ? Why couldn't the GOD change his destiny or does he want him to suffer at the hands of his relatives .Why shouldn't people know about their time of Death so that they can arrange all the things and wish everybody farewell so that nobody is in a state of shock ..Why can't GOD allow that? He is supposed to be the Dukhharta (one who removes pain ) and what not ? So why the pain ? Does he want his subjects to experience pain so that they come to him and beg him for life .. . Maybe he wants it that way . Maybe he doesn't exist at all , just a fiction in our mind . Just another way or excuse to carry on with our otherwise wretched existence .

I am a self confessed movie buff and I am proud of it . The other day when I was in jaipur , I thought of watching a movie to while away time . mostly I would have gone to a Govinda MOVIE but since his films have become rare , I searched and searched and chanced upon the film TAREY ZAMEEN PER . I had heard fleetingly about the reviews and this was not my kind of movie . since I did have time in my hand I decided to go ahead and sleep in the hall . what the
hell ... .

The movie really started on a brighter note which reminded me of our school days . it had grabbed my attention . Most inspiring was the acting of the young kid and the relationship he develops with the teacher .It was really heart wrenching to see him being sent to the boarding school and the look he gave when he saw his parents go.....wow .the painting book he had drawn which shows him moving away from the family was the point of saturation
for me . I was bawling like a lost kid inside the theatre . I did not care who was looking at me or whether they were laughing at me , I just cried . A moment later it dawned upon me that I was in a theater full of people and I immediately stopped and looked around . but I was not embarrassed . That really set me thinking . In India where 50 % children don't even study who would try to correct children with learning disabilities .talking about the teachers I do not remember many teacher who would go the length the teacher in the film did . Not many did when I was young , I doubt if any do today .

Anyway I just moved out of the hall and mind you I saw the whole length of the movie and I was happy to see the kid making up with his parents and they in turn understanding him . But I tried to see other faces . were they puffed up like me due to crying or just people who were bored to see a movie about a sick kid .

That evening when we macho men were enjoying our drinks I started talking about this movie ( boy I was drunk like a skunk ) . At first they started cursing the film and suggested amir should give up acting . I kept quiet , but suddenly one voice called out to say he liked the boys acting .somebody said they liked the way the film was treated . THE PANDORA'S BOX WAS SUDDENLY OPEN ..